Finding peace

With all that's going on in Ferguson, Missouri, and blatant racism cropping up everywhere, I've heard a lot of criticism toward the angry people and how they should calm down and return to peace. Apparently there wasn't actual peace before if things got heated so quickly after the verdict. There may have been quiet, but that doesn't mean it was peaceful. They are angry, and rightfully so. 

I recently read a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. It says:

"I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate.

I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to 'order' than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: 'I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action'; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a 'more convenient season.'

Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection." -- "Letter from a Birmingham Jail"

I really liked what he said, that an "a negative peace is the absence of tension" and "a positive peace is the presence of justice". I really like that idea, because just because there is an absence of tension, doesn't mean that there is peace. 

I've been thinking about what peace means to me in my life. People have thought of me as being negative when I've expressed my opinions and feelings about various issues. I don't bring things up merely to complain about them. I bring up issues so that others can understand or at least hear a different opinion. I want to be able to discuss things so there will be an understanding between us. That ultimately is peace to me, where we are both hearing each other's perspective, and coming to a mutual respect, if not agreement. I really don't like arguing and defending myself, but I sometimes find it necessary when I feel misunderstood and judged. I would rather have a horrible, awful conversation that ends in understanding, than to have an awkward silence or one side bottling up their feelings so that they avoid contention. I don't welcome argument, but if that's what gets to the understanding and mutual feelings of love and support, then so be it. 

I want everyone to have a safe place where they feel they can be themselves, and that others around them will love them unconditionally. Unfortunately there are many that don't have that. So I speak up in the hopes of making something better for someone somewhere. Is that vague enough for you? I'm still trying to figure out how best to do that. Until then, I will speak out against racism, sexism, homophobia, and any other social injustices. I think that difficult conversations are the only way that things will ever change, and the only way that we will ever have a true peace.

Stuff happens

It may not be grand revelation to most of you, but I have come to realize that stuff happens. Good stuff, bad stuff, normal stuff, just stuff, and to all kinds of people. Good people, bad people, normal people, just people. You mix in any combination of those things, and you have life. So when people think that my husband lost his job or that our dishwasher flooded our kitchen is because we left the church, well, they are just plain wrong. This is a sucky economy. That has nothing to do with righteousness or faith. Plenty of people are looking for jobs. I was #506 on a list for one job at a local hospital. It's not my fault most of the area hospitals have cut their new grad programs due to budget cuts. It's not my husband's fault the firm he was at sucked and treated all of their employees poorly. We have hope that we will both find jobs soon, not because we are praying for it, or even because we deserve it. We are tenacious. We are hard working, and we will do whatever it takes to provide for our family. We don't need your prayers, or your judgment. We need your faith in us. We need your love and support. We need actual tangible things like help with putting our kitchen back together.

I'm glad for you if you have a big beautiful house and you have the job of your dreams. Just don't think that your righteousness brought it to you. Life is a giant combination of luck and effort. Faith won't stop bad things from happening. It can be a safety net so that when you do fall, it is there to support you. So when others are having a hard time around you, don't assume it's because they don't have faith, or that that will never happen to you because your faith is strong. Just wait. Life is waiting for you, and you will have bad things happen. It's just how it is. There will be red lights, illness, death, broken arms, pets run over, and rainy days. It doesn't mean you are doing something wrong or it is orchestrated to get you to learn something. Some things just suck and there is no meaning in it. You can drive yourself crazy trying to find the meaning in EVERYTHING. Sometimes it's just not there, and is random. Sometimes you can find meaning in your experiences, and hopefully you take that and let it make you a better person.

Life is what you make of it. For me, it is meant to be enjoyed, and to be shared. Hopefully I learn something from my collection of experiences and I can have a little empathy for the people along my way.