"Not all those who wander are lost" ~J.R.R. Tolkien

"Not all those who wander are lost" ~J.R.R. Tolkien
"Not all those who wander are lost." ~J.R.R. Tolkien

Friday, February 19, 2016

Guardrails and villages

There is this cartoon floating around various Facebook groups, and it's been interesting to see the different responses to it.

The movie "The Village" by M. Night Shyamalan is about a 19th century small village in the woods that is surrounded by scary creatures. The creatures are actually villagers assigned by the elders to dress up and scare the villagers to keep people from leaving. It is revealed over the course of the movie that this village is in the middle of a wildlife preserve in modern day, and the founders of the village wanted a place where they could get away from the evil influence of the outside world.  They believed they were making a place better for their people, and purposely kept the truth from the villagers. 

I see these things much differently than I used to. Before leaving the LDS church, I heard quite often warnings from leaders to stay away from "anti-Mormon" literature, to only research anything about the church through the church's own website and approved books that they sell through their bookstore. I was also cautioned to stay away from even "the appearance of evil," so as to not be tempted to sin. I was encouraged to leave any environment when I knew the "spirit" wouldn't be present, basically meaning people doing things different than the LDS church teaches. There were so many rules to keep the members in check. I also heard a lot of stories meant to be faith promoting, that they or someone they knew left the church, and had all kinds of bad things happen to them. They got divorced, lost their job, their house, their kids, and ended up drunk in a gutter, then they realized they hit rock bottom, repented, and came back to church, and now the opposite has happened and they are much happier back in the church. This advice is good intentioned, as most of the members truly believe these things and want to protect others from getting hurt. I also think that it's how some of the leaders keep control. 

What they don't realize is that instead of a cliff on the other side of the guardrail and the village, it is just flat. There is no cliff, no scary monster, no certain doom. You can go anywhere you want to. Personally, I have found this. 


Of course, there is not always sunshine in the meadow. There are still storms and sadness, but there is also joy and comfort. The range and complexity of emotions is bigger. It is more full, and it is more real than anything I have ever experienced. I feel more in tune with myself, more confident in my decisions, and more content, because these are MY choices to make. I make decisions that make me happy and rely on my knowledge, instincts, and the resources I have to make the best decision I can. I feel like my life means more to me now, that I'm not just enduring this life to get to the next one. I am making the most of this life now, because it is all I can do. I don't know what, if anything, the next life will be. I have no way of predicting that. All I can do is live now and live fully. I am investing in myself and my family, and it has been amazing.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Relevance

People have asked me if I still go to a church, or pray, or believe in God. No on all counts. I get a shocked reaction and then get asked, "Aren't you worried that you're wrong?" Nope again. I'll tell you why. A belief in a god at this point is irrelevant to me. I can't 100% prove the existence or inexistence of a god. And even if he/she/it (we'll go with "he" for simplification purposes) actually exists, he hasn't done much to earn my worship. In fact, I'm truly hoping that there isn't one, because if there is, we're going to have a serious fight beginning with my first question, "What the hell were you thinking?" If god is omnipotent, then why hasn't he done more to help man, and if he's not all powerful, what's the point of worshiping him? And just having power isn't enough, how are they using their power? Are they going around smiting people, or helping people? Faced with the emperor, I wouldn't be bowing down because he is a horrible person that blows up planets.
What makes anyone worthy of worship? Either he's perfect, or he's not. A loving and perfect god would not act the way people credit him, and an imperfect god is no better than the rest of us. If we are all god's children, then clearly some of us are his favorites and some are ignored. Wars, starvation, terrorists claiming to act in the name of god, homelessness, and disease are rampant all over the world, yet some claim that "God is great" when they find their car keys, diamond ring, or just make it through a traffic light.

If god is so "great," wouldn't he stop the terrorists in the first place rather than saving someone's life in the rubble? And what happened to giving credit to the hardworking villagers working to save that person? Let's give credit to where credit is due. Many "miracles" are carried out by people every day to help each other. People are amazing. There is always someone running to help, going out of their way and putting themselves in danger for others, or sacrificing their comfort for others. People care. Those people are worth my admiration and respect, not some dude sitting up on a cloud. So if there is a god, ultimately it doesn't matter to me. I'm going to go about my life the same whether he exists or not. I'm going to help people, not to get some gold star on my sticker chart in heaven, but because it's who I am. I want to help. If you're only going to do the right thing to get a reward or to avoid punishment, is that true morality?